A Delhi Glossary

In less than two short weeks Mama, Papa, and Sista Plant arrive in India for a visit of my new home. I thought of trying to prepare the 1.1 billion people of this country for the Fearsome Foursome, as we are known in some circles (ok mostly just our own). I’ve decided, however, that it might be better to go the other route and try to prepare the fam for India. With that in mind, I’ve put together a small glossary for them to study on the long flight over. For this post we start small, well, if we consider 12 million small, with some key people, places, and things of Delhi explained.

Auto – a three wheel motor powered “auto rickshaw” and my main mode of transportation in Delhi. The trick to bargaining is a little move I like to call the walkaway. It starts with some traditional back and forth bargaining, and then you make the abrupt turn and walk away slowly enough for them to follow you and yet with conviction that says you refuse to back down. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.

Asian Games Village – our apartment complex, location of 155 Madan Lal Block, aka home sweet home. The complex was built to house the athletes of the Asian Games in 1984. I like to imagine that the Azerbajani women’s javlin throwers were staying in our place. It’s just a vibe I get.

Asian Games Village, Security guys – some of my favorite men in Delhi. Our apartment complex it technically a gated community – meaning that we pay for three guards to stand at the entrance 24-7, despite the fact that they never turn anyone away. After about 9pm security tightens and they ask every vehicle coming in their apartment number, so as long as you tell them any number between 1 and 853 you’re in. Talk about top security. These guys have a great sense of humor, and it feels like every time I drive by they have something new. Sometimes now they great us with an overexaggerated American accent saying One Five Five, and we like to mess with them by saying 854 and other totally random numbers. I’ve taught them the fist pump, so sometimes we just use that, and they also are fans of the military salute. They also serve as our personal direction-givers to visitors, because anytime someone white comes by they automatically send them to 155.

Café Coffee Day, aka CCD if you’re in the know - the Indian equivalent of Starbucks, although it’s not yet on every block give it another 10 years and I’m sure it will be. They feature equally overpriced coffee – which costs five times as much as a decent meal. And yet, just like Starbucks, that doesn’t seem to stop me from going there.

Commonwealth Games – Delhi is all abuzz about hosting the Commonwealth Games (an Olympics-like games held every four years for former members of the British Commonwealth. Even though I suppose the US technically used to be part of that clique our invitation got lost in the mail). The Games are scheduled for October and the entire city has been under construction since we got here in preparation. You can’t go anywhere in Delhi without seeing a sign for the games or dealing with some sort of construction marked by a sign “CWG: Preparation in Progress”.

Connaught Place – “CP” as we locals call it, is one of those tourism black holes. Everyone tells you to go there and that it’s a great place for shopping for tourists, and then you go and you’re like why did everyone tell me to come here, it doesn’t seem that great. But you figure if everyone suggests it then maybe you just missed something, so you tell people you went there and suggest that they go, thus perpetuating the cycle. My recommendation should you ever be in Delhi: go crazy and skip CP, it’s not actually worth it (but you didn’t hear that from me).

Gurgaon – Gurgaon is like Phoenix transported to India. It is a city about a half hour outside of Delhi that has literally sprung up in the last 10 years. It is home to tall shiny high rise apartment and office buildings, and has more shopping malls per square mile than I’ve ever seen, even in the U.S. It is home to hundreds of the now famous Indian call centers, and it’s a great place to visit when you find yourself missing the materialism and rampant consumerism of the U.S. of A.

Khan Market – Khan Market is situated in an upscale Delhi neighborhood and in between two of the city’s ritziest hotels, thus making a hotspot for expats and wealthy Indians. Anything you buy here will cost twice as much as anywhere else in the city, and yet people flock here regardless just to be able to say they bought it at Khan Market.

Metro – Also a preparation for the Commonwealth Games, Delhi is now home to a brand new metro system, which I have to say is quite amazing. It’s cheap, clean, efficient, and runs absolutely nowhere that is convenient to me in the slightest.

Nehru Place – Nehru Place is the place in Delhi to go if you are shopping for electronics. The huge indoor/outdoor market sells every possible piece of electronic equipment, both the legit brand name items and the less legit backroom versions. You can also get pirated software and movies here for a dollar, even before they have actually been released.

Sreela – Sreela is our boss, mentor, friend, and sanity keeper. I can’t think of enough good things to write about her here, I’ll just leave it at she rocks my socks, and that’s not a compliment I hand out to just anyone.


Alright, so that pretty much covers Delhi, but get excited for next lesson, in which we expand our vision to understand India - its people, places, traditions, and culture as a whole. Man, I'm going to be such a good professor some day.